I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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