My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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