Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
