when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
