"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
