how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
