I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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