Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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