Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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