Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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