If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize