Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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