my phone needs a breathalizer
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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