She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
