Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
