So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
