Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
