I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
wow bdsm is so cute
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