Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The uberlube is also flammable
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Randomize
