Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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