My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
