No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
