thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
