Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
