Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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