I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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