you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
