Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
