I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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