It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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