My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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