I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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