i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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