idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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