If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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