You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we made out on top of his cat.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
