Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
