Yo dont text me then not text me
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
