Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
