Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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