Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
