i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
