Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
