I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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