I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
