they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He shit in the fireplace
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
