i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
