i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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