I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
