Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
