Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
