he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize