i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
