whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
