Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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