I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize