i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
