If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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