It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
