i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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