Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
