This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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