Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
