i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
