the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize