We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize